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Pissing in the moonlight

For approximately half of humankind the act of relieving themselves of excess liquid is an entirely indoor affair. I happen to be of the male variety of my glorious species homo sapiens, so the world is my oyster (and by oyster I mean ‘thing I can pee on’). Today is Wednesday, January 20th, in the […]

January 20th, 2021 | Journal | , | Comments: 2

For approximately half of humankind the act of relieving themselves of excess liquid is an entirely indoor affair. I happen to be of the male variety of my glorious species homo sapiens, so the world is my oyster (and by oyster I mean ‘thing I can pee on’).

Today is Wednesday, January 20th, in the Year of Our Lord 2021, which doesn’t mean much if you’re from another planet, galaxy, or whatever. But for most of us human beings that means that today at noon (when the sun was mostly over head) a guy named Joe Biden replaced a guy named Donald Trump as Ultimate Supreme Leader of All That Really Matters on This Planet™ and it was something of significance, at least within the timelines of our lives, meaning the lives of the people currently living. I don’t expect you (whomandwheneveryouare) to understand this, because honestly I’m not sure any of us beings currently existing really understands it. But I do think that for our present timeline these events are a thing of significance.

Most days that you are alive (and I’m being descriptive, not prescriptive) the days just feel like every other day. But on rare occasions some days will feel like they are a bit more, like somehow the day really will end up having more value than the other days. I don’t know why or when or how these days come to be having more oomph than the others, but they do. History somehow provides us at random with days of seemingly more significance than the ordinary days that mark our regular passage of time. These extra-ordinary days that mark the fleeting days of our lives somehow come to define us.

I know exactly where I was on 9/11. I remember so many details about that day. But the day after? No clue. That was just 9/12, another ordinary day.

The Christian liturgical calendar of Western and Eastern traditions marks days between Resurrection Sunday (“Easter,” as I knew it in my Methodist upbringing) and Christmas as the ordinary days. The term “ordinary” doesn’t mean what we commonly understand it to mean. This term “ordinary” is understood today as “boring, common, or totally to be expected.” But in liturgical context it means something like “counted,” meaning “these are the days we count until the next event of major significance.”

Many days of our lives are insignificant. But some days are not. 9/11 certainly is a day that a lot of humans will count as significant. 9/10 and 9/12 are way less significant for most of us.

But today, January 20th of 2021, the year of our Lord Jesus Christ and/or the Common Era (a debate in itself), was certainly a day that was significant in the big story of homo sapiens regardless of what specific part of planet Earth those homo sapiens called home.

Tonight, like many nights, I stepped outside to relieve myself of excess liquid. I do this regularly, equally to save the environment of yet another flush and to feel connected to the earth from which I know I have come and one day will return. The backdoor is also closer than the bathroom, so laziness prevails.

Regardless, as I stood pissing in the moonlight on the eve of A SIGNIFICANT DAY, I couldn’t help but feel like none of it mattered.

Yes, in real day-to-day terms it really does matter who the Big Dude at the top of this pile of excrement is.

But I also felt the long term insignificance of the New Guy and the Old Guy as I gazed up at the really old guy Orion whilst relieving myself of that-which-I-can-no-longer-contain.

I’m not even sure what the point of this writing is about. I only know how freeing it is to look up at the night sky and know that for countless ages our species has looked to the night sky while relieving themselves and thought, “Ahhhh, whatever.”

2 Comments >

2 Comments

  1. 1 Hoss 9:27 pm Jan 20, 2021

    I’m with you brother. It’s a little too cold to piss outside over here tonight.

    It was significant. I was actually gonna watch it happen. But then it was 11:35 CST and I realized it was all over. And the world didn’t feel very different.

    Whether the New Guy or the Old Guy, whatever color tie they wear, they have no interest in slowing the boulder’s roll down the mountain. They arm wrestle for the opportunity to push the boulder more towards this village or that village, but they will never be in front of the boulder.

    And she’s a pickin up speed.

    Time for a piss.

  2. 2 Scott Troyer 9:58 pm Jan 20, 2021

    Speaking of neckties, might I interest you in a polyester/rayon blend neck tie with piano keys and the phrase “It’s hammer time!” in Papyrus font on it? I only peed on it a little bit.

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